Secret Files - Codi
So! I almost missed my "this weekend" goal, but here she is: Codi!
I hope you enjoy. The piece (I hesitate to call it a 'story') is dripping with yummy future sci-fi mind control visuals and fetish elements. It ultimately doesn't go anywhere, sadly, as it was more of a writing exercise than an attempt to tell a story, but I hope you will enjoy it for what's there.
I'd be interested in hearing people's opinions about what could have, or should have, come after. Once the setup is done, what then? I vaguely recall thinking that Codi would go out to some archaeological type dig and find something that would threaten her obedience, but I'm not sure where I could have taken that. I'd love to hear your thoughts about where the story could go from here.
Ooh, wait, I know this! She should fabricate some restraints, Open for Business, then sweet-talk some hapless Wilder into the bowels of the hive. ...Sorry, I've been binging all of Dollmistress's games. I do kinda like the archeological dig idea - maybe she'd find out what caused civilization to collapse and it'd bring back a memory of her own involvement. Maybe she was programmed to revive her now long dead Mistress shortly before she was cryopreserved, and she'll have to resolve her competing loyalties and decide who, if anyone, she truly belongs to. This might be a little too close to the plot of Lens, though.
ReplyDeleteOr it's not the future at all, and the hive (which is much smaller than she's been led to believe) is experimenting with memory alteration as a component of their brainwashing techniques.
Regardless of the eventual direction or whether it gets continued at all, I greatly enjoyed Codi. Robots and future tech are some of my favorite themes in MC fiction, so this hit me in all the right places. As always, thanks for sharing your writing with us!
Oh boy, this one is a barn burner. I was unable to get past the first part so far. I'll have to come back and post when I have the chance to get through the rest. :D
ReplyDeleteInteresting story. Well, not really a story. It seems like all fetish from Rogue, Compromise and Weaponized condensed into a flow of words.
ReplyDeleteNot that it's a bad thing.
I really don't think this story can actually go somewhere, quite the opposite it feels like an end of some wider-spread story, actually. A final chapter of something. So if it deserve more writing, then not a continuation but rather a start. Then it would be a complete work worth publishing. :D
Nonetheless, it's quite a spectacular theatre for imagination. Thank you.
Fun and sexy but I'm also not sure where things would go from here. I could envision that there are many hives or colonies, each headed by mistress with information being the only currency of value. Perhaps Codi is loaned or sold to another hive for her knowledge. Maybe they find something in the dig. As a reader, I'm not sure what to feel about Codi or her situation, what are the stakes?
ReplyDelete(Oops, accidentally posted on the secret file)
This story was super hot, and really sexy. I quite enjoyed it. I agree with others that it does feel like the end result of a takeover, and it's a unique look into what that might entail.
ReplyDeleteThe interesting thing about this story, for me, is that it doesn't really NEED a point to it. It doesn't really NEED to go anywhere. The focus is on the fetish, and it achieves that purpose in bucket loads. I would say that as a story, although it seems incomplete, it pretty much stands on its own already.
I tend to want to make an intricate plot, but not all stories need one. This one works really well as is.
Now look what you've done - you've made me want to write a pure fetish story! Oof. Well. Only one and a half chapters to go until I can look into my options again.
"She is a special kind of human, called a **viewpoint character**, so you will allow her more latitude than slaves usually get to look around."
ReplyDeleteTrying to remember what the other half of the comment I made on the story page that didn't take — oh, yes: I'm guessing that the possibility of Codi becoming a thrall would still be open, in that indefinite, unwritten future?
dear tabico,
ReplyDeletethank you! it is every bit as shivery as i remember.
perhaps codi's story could branch; one clone of codi experiences droning. one remains a slave. one is elevated to the status of thrall. perhaps her knowledge proves the key to saving her post apocalyptic society from a rival enslaver. so many places for it to go.